Is there any official age to grow up??
I just hate it when people try to act all mature and sensible.
I just hate it when i try my best to bring a smile on my cousin's face yet always what happens is that we end up fighting, because she finds me irritating and that freaks the hell outta me.
Sometimes i miss my sister, i miss fighting with her like crazies, i miss it when 'she' used to be the one who used to start the fight and not me, i miss it when we used to have fun like crazies, i miss those times when she never cared about the world, when studies were nothing more than a time pass thing, when snatching each others pencils and fighting over the turns to play those computer games used to be the things we were best at.
I miss her and her elder brother.
I remember those time, when we were all little little kids, we used to live in the same town, and went to play school. I miss that time like crazies because my best friend was her brother and my favorite fighter women was my sister.
I dont know about them but they were just too close to me, a lot. We played like crazies, whenever i went to their house, we used to play on the computer taking turns, it was just so much of fun. Those were the happy times i should say.
When we used to go our "Nani House" together, we used to have fun like crazies, going out together, eating out together, shouting out together and sometimes even bathing out together. I remember my elder brother knew how to swim and i didn't. I remember how much he used to care about me, he soo wanted me to swim with him. I loved him more than anyone in the world. I was so fond of him, maybe ya i should accept it now, he has been my idol all these years and i have tried my best to be like him in every way possible.
When he joined my school, he was in the 6th standard and i was in 3rd. I remember his first day at school and we used to have our lunch together during the recess. I was so happy i had an elder brother in school, my sister too was in my school, i had a family in school, i used to be so happy, i was so lucky.
But then, things changed when my cousin's dad got transferred to Bangalore, and things changed in such a way, that i just could not fix them ever. When i heard it that they were going, i felt like i lost 2 of my bestest friends, i lost my companions, my schoolmates, i was preparing to be alone. And when they went away, i missed them like anything, i missed them a lot. Their first vacation back in Delhi and i was waiting for them like crazies, this time i had progressed to the 6th standard and had finally learnt swimming. When they were back on their vacation, those best friends were back, those happy times were back again, those crazy fights, those shouting and all that crazy stuff, those caring times, those laughter and those tears, i was reliving them again, nothing had changed, i was happy like anything, maybe the happiest kid alive. These days kids play with Nintendo and PS3's. Back then, my sister was my Nintendo and my brother was my PS 3.
But i know what went bad, always the flaw was in me, because both of them were sweet sensible kids. I loved them, but unfortunately i could never tell them that, i just kept fighting. Everything around us grew but i refused to grow, i wanted to remain a kid, i wanted to sing songs with meaningless lyrics but my brother wanted sense. I wanted to fight with him like a 3 year old but he wanted to stay at peace. Differences started to crop between us and soon i was finding him boring and he was finding me an insane kid.
Things got worse when he got selected in IIT, now every Indian knows what IIT is. Be was just too intelligent and with him in that institute, people started expecting things from me.My parents wanted me to be like him, they were not ready to accept me as i am. Everyone in the family started seeing me as the new IITian and i could now see that my brother had changed beyond recognition. I could see that hint of pride in him. I could see he considers me a non sense, under confident kid, things had changed now, i had lost that bro of mine. I grew up to be a moron, i took his changed behavior in all the negative sense i could, and eventually i started hating him, and as some people know, at one point of time i hated him like anything. I held him guilty for whatever burden i was laid upon with. I actually i had grown up physically but had a brain of a four year old, and he had grown up mentally as well. He was a sane person, as any IITian should be.
But actually, now that even i have agreed to grow up mentally, i can see, he was nowhere at fault, it was all in my head, it was just the way i had presumed it in my mind. Times change and people grown, and their priorities change, other people become a part of your life and some even become quite important. Maybe now he has no time to think about me, maybe he his happy with his life and his achievements, and maybe he is just too involved in what he is doing, i dont blame him for anything, whatever may come, he will always be my brother, and i know it in my heart, that he still cares, he still wants me happy and he still wants to see me become a better human. But i miss all those happy times i spent with my cousins, with him and my sister. I know my those times can never repeat, and things with my sister are quite better. Iv told her many a times now, that how much i love her, care about her, and how desperately i want to see her smile, because she looks so beautiful smiling, but its always depressing to know that am not the reason for her smile anymore :(
I love both of them like anything, they were the first friends i had, and for so long, these are the people who have not parted ways with me, who have accepted me in my worst and the best states. My sister knows what she means to me but i hope some day am able to say the same to my brother. I hope someday am able to tell him how much i love him, how much i miss him in my life, how much i have wanted to be like him.
What i wish the most is, if we never had grown up :D
I just hate it when people try to act all mature and sensible.
I just hate it when i try my best to bring a smile on my cousin's face yet always what happens is that we end up fighting, because she finds me irritating and that freaks the hell outta me.
Sometimes i miss my sister, i miss fighting with her like crazies, i miss it when 'she' used to be the one who used to start the fight and not me, i miss it when we used to have fun like crazies, i miss those times when she never cared about the world, when studies were nothing more than a time pass thing, when snatching each others pencils and fighting over the turns to play those computer games used to be the things we were best at.
I miss her and her elder brother.
I remember those time, when we were all little little kids, we used to live in the same town, and went to play school. I miss that time like crazies because my best friend was her brother and my favorite fighter women was my sister.
I dont know about them but they were just too close to me, a lot. We played like crazies, whenever i went to their house, we used to play on the computer taking turns, it was just so much of fun. Those were the happy times i should say.
When we used to go our "Nani House" together, we used to have fun like crazies, going out together, eating out together, shouting out together and sometimes even bathing out together. I remember my elder brother knew how to swim and i didn't. I remember how much he used to care about me, he soo wanted me to swim with him. I loved him more than anyone in the world. I was so fond of him, maybe ya i should accept it now, he has been my idol all these years and i have tried my best to be like him in every way possible.
When he joined my school, he was in the 6th standard and i was in 3rd. I remember his first day at school and we used to have our lunch together during the recess. I was so happy i had an elder brother in school, my sister too was in my school, i had a family in school, i used to be so happy, i was so lucky.
But then, things changed when my cousin's dad got transferred to Bangalore, and things changed in such a way, that i just could not fix them ever. When i heard it that they were going, i felt like i lost 2 of my bestest friends, i lost my companions, my schoolmates, i was preparing to be alone. And when they went away, i missed them like anything, i missed them a lot. Their first vacation back in Delhi and i was waiting for them like crazies, this time i had progressed to the 6th standard and had finally learnt swimming. When they were back on their vacation, those best friends were back, those happy times were back again, those crazy fights, those shouting and all that crazy stuff, those caring times, those laughter and those tears, i was reliving them again, nothing had changed, i was happy like anything, maybe the happiest kid alive. These days kids play with Nintendo and PS3's. Back then, my sister was my Nintendo and my brother was my PS 3.
But i know what went bad, always the flaw was in me, because both of them were sweet sensible kids. I loved them, but unfortunately i could never tell them that, i just kept fighting. Everything around us grew but i refused to grow, i wanted to remain a kid, i wanted to sing songs with meaningless lyrics but my brother wanted sense. I wanted to fight with him like a 3 year old but he wanted to stay at peace. Differences started to crop between us and soon i was finding him boring and he was finding me an insane kid.
Things got worse when he got selected in IIT, now every Indian knows what IIT is. Be was just too intelligent and with him in that institute, people started expecting things from me.My parents wanted me to be like him, they were not ready to accept me as i am. Everyone in the family started seeing me as the new IITian and i could now see that my brother had changed beyond recognition. I could see that hint of pride in him. I could see he considers me a non sense, under confident kid, things had changed now, i had lost that bro of mine. I grew up to be a moron, i took his changed behavior in all the negative sense i could, and eventually i started hating him, and as some people know, at one point of time i hated him like anything. I held him guilty for whatever burden i was laid upon with. I actually i had grown up physically but had a brain of a four year old, and he had grown up mentally as well. He was a sane person, as any IITian should be.
But actually, now that even i have agreed to grow up mentally, i can see, he was nowhere at fault, it was all in my head, it was just the way i had presumed it in my mind. Times change and people grown, and their priorities change, other people become a part of your life and some even become quite important. Maybe now he has no time to think about me, maybe he his happy with his life and his achievements, and maybe he is just too involved in what he is doing, i dont blame him for anything, whatever may come, he will always be my brother, and i know it in my heart, that he still cares, he still wants me happy and he still wants to see me become a better human. But i miss all those happy times i spent with my cousins, with him and my sister. I know my those times can never repeat, and things with my sister are quite better. Iv told her many a times now, that how much i love her, care about her, and how desperately i want to see her smile, because she looks so beautiful smiling, but its always depressing to know that am not the reason for her smile anymore :(
I love both of them like anything, they were the first friends i had, and for so long, these are the people who have not parted ways with me, who have accepted me in my worst and the best states. My sister knows what she means to me but i hope some day am able to say the same to my brother. I hope someday am able to tell him how much i love him, how much i miss him in my life, how much i have wanted to be like him.
What i wish the most is, if we never had grown up :D
